I Beseech You
Submitted by an "I Liked Your Profile" reader, who claims this email was written by a guy trying to reconnect with her. Although not exactly an online dating email, it comes close enough for a post:
"subject: re: contactContribute your funny dating emails to firstname.lastname@example.org
do forgive my most thoughtless inattention. my life has slipped into an excruciatingly ill-timed state of radical mediocrity, and i have been far too distracted by nothing in particular to give thought, much less effort, to anything of import. to my greatest dismay, your invitation comes at a time when my next three evenings have been spoken for, but i do beseech: think you not that your gracious calls fall upon deaf ears nor meet with unsympathetic sentiment. too many the hours that have slipped past already, and too few remain to allow them similar fate. my proposal is eventide saturday, at the hour of your choosing, though my tardy reply commands me beg you not inconvenience prior arrangement or custom for the sake of that easily reappointed.
i do most humbly and eagerly await your reply"