Monday, January 30, 2006

El Chicano Loco

Submitted by an "I Liked Your Profile" reader:
"Whats good chicana. I see you got cha game going on and you know whats frio in the mix scene. I'd say you caught my attention and i like your whole method to you. just thought I’d send you alittle shout out. keep it likewise.-Chicano."
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Thursday, January 26, 2006

Mr. *69

Submitted by an "I Liked Your Profile" Reader:
"I have noticed that we have alot alike. I would love to get 2 know you more. I like to talk better than type however I understand if you dont feel comfortable calling but if so please feel free you can block your number if you want with * 69 or * 67 one of those will block it. any who hope you like what I had to say and I look forward to hearing back from you. well have a great night.


Collin sounds like an extra sensitive guy who would appreciate MyPrivateLine.
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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Laughing Ass

Submitted by an "I Liked Your Profile" reader:
"Amazingly I too find humor the greatest asset. Unfortunately, ever since that day when I laughed my ass off, I've stopped being humorous. And let me tell you, it is a horrible, horrible stigmatism to walk around with no ass. Pants don't fit right; and now my brain is totally exposed---since that's where it was once hidden . . . oh if only I had my ass before I wrote this email . . . sigh . . . maybe some booze would do the trick . . . sigh . . . dug what you wrote; drop me a line."

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Sunday, January 22, 2006

African Mail-Order Grooms Strike Yet Again!

Submitted by an "I Liked Your Profile" regular:

"Hello Sexy,

Hello am Bob by a 32 Years old Black man From from the Family of 2 Children am the First son and i have a Junior sister...i have a son ...i work for a Plastic company here in Single and looking for true a Humble Loyal Sincere Trustworthy Honest Caring Hard working Good sence of Humor and Gentle man that wants better and good life for people around Him..well the Reason why am here is to Search for the woman of my Life a friend introduces me to this to check it out if i can get what am looking for, am new to this internet stuff and i think i will be able to meet those serious woman who were ready for relationship not just here to fool people and do nasty things here...The foundation of any love story is trust....The foundation of any love story is trust.....Love is not always convenient, but if it is true love, it will outlast any strain, overcome any obstacle, and grow consistently and exponentially for all eternity....You bring such happiness to my life and fulfill that love I have looked and searched for.....I am thinking of you, In my sleepless solitude tonight. If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right. 'Cause I'm drowned in you, And I won't pull through, without you by my side......Remember that the truest love, is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.....No matter how hard things seem, true love will aide you through it.

You can talk to me on yahoo messenger my screen name is am on now"

Maybe we can make these emails a trend on ILYP. If you have any mail-order emails, send them over. Perhaps we can have a contest for the "Best of Mail-Order Emails". While these emails are quite funny, and sometimes may be genuine, check out this.
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Friday, January 20, 2006

Subject: I Saw Your Structure

Although I don't fault Irina for her translation efforts, she definitely made the I Liked Your Profile cut. Submitted by a male "I Liked Your Profile" reader:
I want will get acquainted with male.
I saw your structure and you have very much interested me.
I very much would like to find out about you more.
It would be very pleasant for me if you will write on mine email:
I shall look forward to hearing from you.-Irina."
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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Over the Hill

"Am I too old for you? Yes, I am getting senile, blind in one eye, and suffering from penile dysfunction, but besides that, I'm a lot of fun!"
- Henry
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Friday, January 06, 2006

The Dutch Do It Better

A reader recently submitted this email she received from a Dutchman seeking love and housing during the NYC Marathon:

"I am happy that you wrote that you like to travel. I too like to travel, and meet new people. I also like meeting new women from around the globe.

But second of all I send you primarily this email as I want to stay with you from the 2nd untill the 8th of November. As I need a place to stay in order to run the Marathon, soak my toes, and even more important to show my new painting "I Will Win".

Please read on if you want to know more."

With a many kisses,
Dutch Derik
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Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Can You Spare a Quarter?

Submitted by an "I Liked Your Profile" reader, who wrote "Is this guy the best scam artist of all time, or the worst?:

"hey ur a cutie, i know this is gonna sound bad, but here i go, i just flew into jfk on monday and have been staying at a hotel in times square since then, but the thing is i got robbed in time square tonight, and the cops wont do anything about it, so pretty much im stranded in a city where i know no one and im stuck in a hotel lobby on my laptop praying to god that some one can help me out, pls. do not get all wierded out by this message, if you can help or know of some one that can pls. let me know thank u soo much cutie, hope to talk to you soon, Richard"
Um, the worst.
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Sunday, January 01, 2006

The Savvy Businessman

Submitted by a male "I Liked Your Profile" reader, who received this in his online dating inbox:
"How u doing. Am a self employed business Man .Am looking for a business partner.If u will like to be my business partner .Get back to me and i will tell u wht to do [get down on all fours, maybe]..U can contact me on my yahoo messenger as XXX . I am online now."

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