Monday, February 27, 2006

Kitten Smitten

Submitted by an "I Liked Your Profile" reader:

I liked your profile. (hmm, great name for a blog, eh?)

I liked that you like meaningful conversation, I am
looking to meet someone like this. I like movies and Sushi.

I just moved to NYC.

I am also very communicative and like to tell jokes!

My Screen Name is XXX

If you like I can E-mail a photograph.

I am looking forward to hearing from you. Please
acknowedge this E-mail.

I thought you would like the joke below joke -tell me
what you think


"On her front porch, an old lady was sitting with
her cat. Suddenly, a fairy godmother appeared and
told her that, because of the good life she had
led,she had been granted three wishes.....

"In that case," said the old lady, "I want to be
a young princess."

Immediately, POOF!, she is a beautiful young woman.

And your second wish?" said the fairy

The young woman thought for a moment and said,
"I should like to be very rich."
Immediately, POOF!, the rocking chair became
solid gold.

"What is your third wish?"
asked the fairy godmother.

The old lady turns to her cat and states

"Can you turn him into a handsome prince, who is
madly in love with me?"

POOF! and there stands a magnificent example of manhood, dressed in finery. The young Woman is shaken with passion. With a smile,the Prince crosses the porch,takes her into his arms and wispers into her ear,"I Bet you're sorry you had me neutered!"
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Thursday, February 23, 2006

Good Luck

The morning after a first date with an online dater, I received this:
"On the way home last night, in addition to thinking you had an awesome smile and a great ass (you do), I realized that you made me think. Awesome quality. Thanks for challenging me and calling me on my bullshit. Of course, now I am thinking about your ass and really need to be concentrating...... Shit.


P.S. I also noted that it was the first time anyone ever ended a date with me by saying "good luck." :)."
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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Mr. Thorough

Submitted by an "I Liked Your Profile" reader:
"Hi, I read your post and was quite interested in what you had to say. I figure that I should tell you a bit about myself and we can see what happens from there.

-I am white

-I am of Italian decent and although I am not some geep off the boat, I am proud of my heritage, as you should be proud of yours also.

-I am 6 foot 2 inches tall

-I weigh 210 lbs., with an athletic build.

-I am employed and happy with what I do and feel that if you don't enjoy your job you should be looking hard for a new one

-I have short brown hair with some gray coming in

-I have a strong sense of morals and values, sometimes a bit old fashioned.

-I am not as romantic as most women would like. I am a man, and although I don't play the macho role, I am sorry but I am not one to buy flowers for no occassion, or to sneek kisses in public, or need to be held.

-I am always a gentleman.

-I have excellent table manners

-I try to be as down to earth as humanly possible.

-I find it extremely sexy for people to be passionate about something. It can be for a cause, or an opinion, or anything else, as long as they feel strong about something.

-I like to be alone sometimes and I respect your wanting to be alone sometimes too.

-I love confidence, but hate conceit, to which there is a fine line.

-I have only dated italian or spanish women. I don't know why this is but it has just worked out that way, I am not racist.

-I hate smoking.

-I hate drugs.

-I do enjoy a drink or two.

-I like to go out to eat, but I also enjoy staying at home and cooking something special.

-Love Italian, Chinese, Sushi, Seafood, and will try anything new.

-Hate Mexican, and Indian food or the accompanying smell that goes with it.

-I enjoy cocktails and conversation at intimate lounges. My club days are over, and although I have fond memories of them, it is in my past

-I am not crazy about new rap, pop, or country music.

-I love all other types of music.

-Going to see live music, at a dive bar or at the Garden or anywhere in between its all great.

-Women, not Girls.

-I love my friends, and they mean alot to me.

-The same goes for my family.

-I love sports, playing or watching.

-I like it when a woman can be funny, not cutesy, which is sickening.

-I like women to act like ladies. I dont like tough guy attitudes on a woman.

-I can be very sarcastic, and I have a dry sense of humor.

-I am brutally honest, so if you ask my opinion, you will get it. I don't sugarcoat my feelings and unfortunately I have hurt a few feelings unintentionally.

-I value a good sense of humor and sense of light heartedness.

-I dont want to shop with you, go with your girlfriends

-I hate when people don't have an opinion on anything. It is a lack of intelligence not to be opinionated.

-I can hold a conversation.

-I use proper grammar unless i am fooling around.

-I do have a NY accent.

-I have a Bachelors degree.

-I can be impatient at times, especially dealing with idiots, but I am working on it.

-I am a Democrat.

-I am Catholic, but I dont attend mass except for Christmas and Easter.

-I almost always try to do the right thing.

-I have had several serious long term relationships and have remained friends with most of them.

-I dont get jealous and I dont deal with people that are.

-I am a poor speller.

-I only remember important things that truly matter.

-I love to travel. I have been all over the Carribean, but now am going to focus on either Europe or out west like the Rockies.

-I love animals, and nature

OK, I realize that I can go on for hours or for pages so I had better stop before you get sick and stop reading this post. Anyway, If any of this sounds appealling to you, write me back. If there is anything else you might want to know about me, just ask.

Hope to hear from you soon.

So here's my question: Which do you prefer? The descriptive, long-winded emails, or the short and sweet?
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Monday, February 20, 2006

KNOE More About Me

One of my very own emails that I received a few weeks ago:

"Hey, let me take the opportunity to introduce myself im matthew. I am a high school teacher here in quuens where i teach european history and sociology. On the side i do two things coach track & field and do freelance accounting ( not the funnest jobs) I could go on and on about how great a guy i am and how perfect you would be for me but in all honesty theres just so much you can learn abotu a person in a two paragraph letter. What i can tell you is that i am a caring individual that has done the bar scene and has finnally realized its not for me. Dont get me wrong i love going to the bars with my freinds but to meet a girl and get to know her well enough to pursue it mor ethan that evening probrably not. Im looking for someone that is fun in my own quircky way such as watching tv shows on a quest for finding the next great show or walking down central park and appreciate it before it gets to cold and you dont have the brown leaves ruffling around.

If you would like to knoe more about me by all means please email me back.

PS I will one day be the world series of poker champion :)"
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Thursday, February 16, 2006

Man Slave

Submitted by an "I Liked Your Profile" reader:
"Hi. I was just wondering if you are interested in having a sexual servant. Yeah I know it sounds weird but I can't help the fact that I am a total male nympho =X beside that fact I am also a nice, caring, understanding, straight forward, altrustic kind of man. I cook (very well, I clean (very well), I'm also very understanding and 100% patient (meaning I'll listen to every word you say). well anyhow please excuse my keyboarding skillz and all my messed up grammar and spelling I hope you to hear from you soon and if i don't hear from you than i'd like to wish you the best of luck in everything that you do!- Rory"
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Monday, February 13, 2006

Leaf Love

Submitted by an "I Liked Your Profile" reader:
"Towards the Question
Part 1

Adapted from something I read many years ago, I want to tell you a story towards the question.

He first noticed her across the branches of leaflets. She glowed in the fresh morning sunlight. Sparkling more than the glistening feathers of a bird in flight. Flashing in diamond like brilliance, she sparkled with the dew in radiant diamond splendor. Even among the few, she excelled. Yet, in herself she was not any different from the other leaflets. You could bet and lose, for to him, he knew in his heart, not by the mythological dart of cupid, but by One so much higher, there could be no other. Just to think of cupid is so stupid.

Helped by the breeze, he gave her a hesitant wave as only masculine leaves can do. She became so coy. Naturally to his heart's joy, now feeling much more than a boy. She blushed a deeper green, being human she'd be all pink. Isn't that what you'd think?

Could she have the same regard for him? Or must he be on his guard?

Now for the sake of brevity, I can't go on. Not in this letter to you. But if you're just slightly intrigued and not fatigued by my verbosity (which would be such a pity), just for you I could continue.., hoping you could be..

Aahh, but that would be giving the game away, which would be such a shame. Might tame your heart a touch too soon, your feelings rising too quick, to give me the blunt end of a stick. I'd sure feel a great buffoon. So one step at a time, our hearts might just come in line. First, with a little thirst, you'd have to request Part Two, and who knows, we might even go for a walk in the zoo."
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Wednesday, February 08, 2006

When Monogamy Becomes Monotony

Submitted by an "I Liked Your Profile" reader:
"I am a married but, secretely looking for fun."
Yesterday I found a dating columnist, Matt Katz, who shed light on the Ashley Madison Agency. This agency claims to add spark to your life when "When Monogamy Becomes Monotony." If and when you receive emails such as the one above, refer your suitor there.
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Monday, February 06, 2006

S & M in NYC

Sumitted by an "I Liked Your Profile" reader, who recently moved to NYC:

Hi- I'm the guy to show you the ropes but I hope you're not into the tying up the guy and using whips thing. -Justin
For online daters who crave a more edgy crowd, check out Nerve.
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Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The Poet

One of my very own online dating emails that I received a short while ago:
"he smiles at her, and nods hello.
she asks him for the time.
he makes a joke, something about how he's been
waiting a lifetime.

the woman tells the man she is tired. the day has
been long. the sun is about to set.
they feel like a couple waiting for a train that hasn't
came-in ,in maybe years.
and they have been waiting at opposite sides of
the platform."
Say what?
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